Coping with MS

This article will be written as though to a child who either has Multiple Sclerosis themselves or in a close family member.

Finding out that either you or your parent has MS can be a very frightening time.  I have writing out a few of the emotions that you might be experiencing.  Please know that whatever you are feeling is normal.  It is very important to talk over these feelings with a trusted adult.

Denial and Isolation:

     One of the first reactions to learning that we or someone we love has a terrible disease, in this case MS, is to deny that we or they have that disease.  Sometimes admitting that someone has MS it too difficult, so you may deny that you or he/she has MS.  You may pretend that you or he/she don’t have MS.   This reaction is perfectly okay.  If this helps you to deal with MS it is just fine.  Go ahead and deny or pretend.

     It is very important to talk to others about your feelings.  Find out everything you can about MS.  Talk to someone who can explain things.  You local MS Society may have books written about MS for children.  They might have a support group for children and their parents.

Anger

     You may become angry, and ask ‘Why does _____  have MS, fill in the blank with the person’s name.   

     Anger is a very real and accepted emotion or feeling.  You may be mad with different people or with things or with your pet or with God or the person with MS or the doctor.  When you are angry at something or someone other than the person with MS it is called misplaced anger.  As long as you understand it you can deal with it.  Don’t feel guilty for misplaced anger.  It happens.  It is part of healing your feelings.  Make sure you apologize if you hurt someone because of your angry feelings.  You may even feel resentful that you or a family member got MS.  That’s okay.  These feelings will pass.

You may have to see health professional to help you deal your feelings.  And that is okay too.

Sadness or Depression

     Talking about what is making you feel sad or depressed, is a good start to changing how you feel.  Find a trusted friend, family member to talk to about your mixed-up feelings.

     Go ahead and cry.  It is OK to cry.  Crying is very healing.  Go for long walks, drives, or bike rides to be alone and cry.  Hug people because it feels ever so good the receive hugs.  You may feel like crying often, go ahead and let yourself cry when you feel like it.  If you can’t get some place to be alone, go cry in the washroom.

Beating Anger

Talk to a friend or an adult you can trust;

Count to 10;

Get or give a hug;

Stamp your feet;

Beat up a pillow because the pillow can't get hurt;

Draw a picture of your anger;

Play a video game;

Run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can;

Sing along with the stereo;

Play outside, by yourself or with a friend

Think good thoughts (maybe about a fun vacation or your favourite sport);

Take a bike ride or go in-line skating, jog, drive, walk.

Shy

     It is OK to be shy about talking to people about what is bothering you.  Write down things you want to talk if case you feel too shy to talk.  Give yourself time to become used to the idea that either you or someone you love has MS.

Acceptance

     After all the crying, talking, thinking, and anger you will start to accept that Multiple Sclerosis is part of your life.  You will learn many ways to deal with MS in everyday situations.  You will never be happy that MS is in your family.  You will always wish that you or your loved one didn’t have to live with MS.  After awhile you will come to realize that MS isn’t the worst disease to have.  It might change your life a little.  You will still be you.  The person with MS will still be the same person.  You will get used to your new life and learn to live with it.