My positive diagnosis

The day I found out that I had MS was a gray, dismal day.   The neurologist walked into the examination room, perched on the edge of his desk, slapped my chart down, and said, “You have MS”. 

After a lengthy stunned pause he continued, “There is nothing I can do for you unless you have $17,000 a year to spend on medicine!”  This pause was very short before he asked, “Do you have that amount of money?”  I numbly answered in the negative.  He stood up and walked out; flippantly and callously, saying, “Have a good day.”

I was numb with shock.  I went to where my daughter was and we left.  I explained to her that I did, indeed, have MS.  When we got to the street the sky had opened up and the rain was pouring down.  We had several blocks to walk.  I started to cry.  We were very quiet with our own private thoughts.  Nature plastered us with drenching water, running down our faces.  No one on the street, even noticed that I was crying.  I started to pray.  I gave myself, and my MS, completely over to the care of God.  By the time we got to the car I knew that God was in control and my life could be very good, even with MS. 

To many, I may appear to be healthy.  I may appear to have no difficulty with balance, vision, speech, muscle spasms, tremors, cognitive abilities, or fatigue.  Many do not see the emotional and physical pains that I experience because of MS.  MS is not always a visible disease.  For most MS is a silent, invisible, chronic, progressive, sometimes devastating disease.  MS can attack any part of the central nervous system, including: the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerve.  It is believed that our body’s immune system is attacking itself.

Bonnie