The benches in the malls are suddenly very inviting, only they are filled with old people.
You have the energy of someone more than twice your age.
I first realized I had a problem with fatigue when I helped my grandmother plant her garden. Together we planted and rested, planted and rested throughout a hot spring day. “Ok Caitlynne she would say, I’m tired, we have to rest.” And I was tired too. Shouldn’t a woman in her 20’s have more energy than an 80 year old woman? I wondered. And then a strange thing happened. As the day progressed I wanted to rest before she did. What was happening to me? I literally just wanted to sit down, but I tried to continue, until my dear grandmother looked at me and said “You look tried my dear. Let’s go inside.” We went inside, watched a sitcom on cable, made supper, and enjoyed an evening of reruns from the years before I was born.
I realized then that my mother was right. I had a problem with fatigue.
It was so easy to pretend I didn’t, since I lived with my mother who also had a problem with fatigue and a father who was never very energetic. But looking back I had quit riding my bike for the four miles I rode every day for two reasons. 1.) I was too tired many a day. 2.) I often had stomach aches. But #2 is irrelevant to this blog post.
It crept up on me slowly. I quit riding my bike for four miles when one mile would do. Then I quit altogether. I quit taking the stairs when the elevator was available. I quit walking to the store when I could drive. My doctor told me I should exercise more often, but I quit exercising because I was too tired to do so. It not only exhausted me, I was often exhausted before I even started.
I found it, and still do find it, very confusing. Sometimes I have enough energy to walk all day, and sometimes I don’t have enough energy to remain sitting up at the computer for more than half an hour at a time.
Caitlynne